I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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