and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
