I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
