So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
