I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
