This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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