We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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