return my video game
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
