Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
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