Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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