It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
