Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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