Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize