Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
