Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
