Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
