so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
