ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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