i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she told me i tasted like america
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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