I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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