You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize