every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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