i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
