It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
