It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
