Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize