hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
