I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she told me i tasted like america
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
