i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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