if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
