They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
