My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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