i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize