Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
