stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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