Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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