At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
