If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
