i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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