i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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