morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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