I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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