it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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