I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
