if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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