Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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