I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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