You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
