i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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