Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
