I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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