I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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