you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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