ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
