My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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