Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
