it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
