Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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