I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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