we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
