Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize